Serendipity. Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you’ve found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for.
Isn’t it funny how you discover something you weren’t even looking for?
Discovering yourself through the eyes of a stranger. Not realizing you were lost and needed to be found.
Before we met I was happy with my life. Or so I thought.
Ours was a chance encounter. Unplanned. Unforeseen.
You asked me things I had been too afraid to ask myself.
You pushed boundaries to show me what it felt like.
You said things to evoke reactions. Emotions. Anything.
Meeting you again was pure happenstance. Serendipity.
It led to comfortable conversation, no longer dancing around niceties and worrying about making an impression.
It felt good, it felt right.
But your actions after make me think this is just how you are.
Strong, determined, very focused and comfortable with life the way it is.
You are not looking for a change, for companionship or for exciting adventures.
You are looking to keep doing what you do but better and move up that corporate ladder and achieve your goals you have set out. Alone.
That is ok. I just wish you wouldn’t say something one day and another the next. Are you confused? Or are you testing my reaction to your opinions? Or maybe both?
You seem the sly kind, always with a hidden agenda. You make out that your time is very important and the fact that you made time for me should make every minute count. You seem so controlled.
Let it go. Let your hair down for once. Experience what it feels like to not be in control. To not have every move and minute calculated and planned.
You make me want to make better choices in life. You make me question my actions, leading to better decisions. You make me want to take charge and make decisions – I am always second guessing and procrastinating decision making.
You make me want to strive to follow my goals and dreams and actually be honest about where I am headed and what I want out of life.
None of these things involve other people. Maybe we are more alike than we think.
We feel misunderstood and alien around other people. We don’t understand their motives and values and self-entitlement.
Words make it so hard to communicate these things and show each other our real selves and our worlds.
You make me want to be a better person and show you that I am worth your precious time.
I don’t know why your approval and respect means so much to me. It shouldn’t.
My decisions should be made for my own approval. For my own satisfaction.
Meeting you showed me that. And so, I thank you.
For your time, your observations, and most of all, for showing me what I don’t want to be anymore.
Isn’t it funny how you discover yourself by chance? Serendipity…